REAL LIFE: HAPPILY EVER AFTER

I met Tristan when was 19 years old in March 2013, we were both working for the Platinum Group – I was working for Aca Joe then and he was working for Vertigo.

I was a single mother at that time with a 2 and a half year old son from my previous relationship which was really bad. I come from a broken family, my mom and dad split up when I was 2 and my mom was always in and out of relationships and at one point she was in a very toxic relationship with my step dad who wasn’t the greatest role model of a father or of what a man should be. I never really knew what  stability was when it came to relationships.

 I fall ‘inlove’ with my first high school sweetheart and fall pregnant at the age 16 – I  had my oldest son, Blake in 2010 when I was in grade 11 – I faced plenty judgement, lost a lot of family and friends. Being a teenager, young and naïve – I thought that was it I found my happily ever after, this was it this was the dream family I always wanted. I ignored all the warning signs and fought so hard to keep my relationship with my baby daddy cause I didn’t want history to repeat itself and allow my baby to grow up without a father and I didn’t want to bring more embarrassment to my family.

I found out that my baby daddy was a drug addict. We tried getting him as much help as we possibly could.  I then decided that this was not going to work – I knew what it was like to grow up in a home with a toxic relationship, there was no ways that I was going to allow this for my child who didn’t ask for any of this. Guys often judged me for having a son – I literally thought that I would never find love.

I met Tristan in March 2013 – he was working right next door to my store, at that time I was still dating that annoying ex – who would not want me to break up with him. Everyone at my store kept telling me how this “Tristan dude’’ is so into me. Yeah, I admit I thought he was hot too. But in all honesty he really was not my type. He was tall, dark hair, well tanned and well built (was not my cup of tea as those type of guys always turned out to be jerks). We started chatting and became friends. And yes, I was still trying to break up with this needy ex of mine – at that point it was really starting to get creepy, he would stalk me and sit in my store the whole day while I would work.

That’s my ex that wont accept me breaking up with him, he literally wont leave me alone – he is stalking me and following me.” Tristan gave me this look and that stage my whole body just felt numb – he walked towards this ex of mine (who was completely smaller than what Tristan was – heck I was even taller than him – no judgment ladies, I had a thing for the short men back then). Tristan looked back at me and said “When your done playing with little boys, come to me and I will show you what a real man is about’’.  I literally stood there for 10min, asking myself ‘is this a dream? Am I part of movie and there’s maybe hidden camera’s?’

After that Tristan asked me to go out with him for a few drinks – I was very hesitant but also very interested. We went for our drink and it was the most dreaded 45 min of my life! We sat there drinking, not saying a word to each other. Literally! We sat in silence – I thought ‘ah I knew this was too good to be true’. I don’t know what possessed me – I looked at him and yes I admit I overheard him talking to his friends – I said to him “so where we going now?” he looked at me and said how about we have a few more drinks and then go join my friends at Billy The Bum’s – we sat and had 2 more drinks, we spoke about my son and how I didn’t believe in love anymore, he spoke and told me about his ex- girlfriend he was with for 6 years and told me how she cheated on him and how he believes that we met for a reason and that maybe we just got showed what love shouldn’t be – I don’t know how to explain it but  something just came over me and for some reason I just got a feeling “This is the guy”.

Working at Aca Joe – 2013

We were dating for about 2 months, we spent all our time together. He kept asking to meet Blake – I was very hesitant as I made a vow to myself that no one would meet Blake and that I wouldn’t repeat history or allow Blake to get hurt again. He kept asking everyday. Then one day he came to me and told me to come with him to his car –   I thought that was really weird, so I followed him to his car and he opened up the boot I looked in his boot and there I saw a Ferrari car seat. I looked at him and was kind of confused. I asked him “And this?” he looked at me and smiled and he said “I bought this for your son, for my car, now you can’t say no to me and this should show you that I really want to meet him” as was completely lost for words and scared. I looked at him and told him I would think about it.

A week went by, and he asked me three times again – so I told him when my next day off was from work, and told him we can take him to the crocodile farm – I was scared. That morning on my day off he came and fetched myself and Blake, before I got Blake out the house I told Tristan “My son comes first no matter what, this is a huge thing for me to introduce you to him.”  He looked at me and said “I got this, and I fully understand”. Tristan and Blake spoke the whole way in the car. Tristan went and got Blake out to Tristan unbuckled him out the seat, took him out and next thing Tristan felt this little hand in his hand. He just looked at me and he had this look on his face as to say “I told you so”. Blake was glued to him the whole day at the park, in his arms, on his shoulders, playing with him none stop. I saw Blake’s face glow for the first time in a long time.

We moved to Cape Town after dating for a year and a half, we decided that it would be best to get Blake away from all the toxic in JHB and that it would be a great start for the four of us – yes the four of us.. Lleyton was born in the February 2014, we moved to Cape Town in May 2014.

Cape Town 2014
Cape Town 2014

Tristan and I always spoke of engagement and getting married. But I never really thought that it would happen. The December holidays my mother and brother came to visit us. On the 30th December 2014 Tristan and I went for a date night – which was like a luxury for us (having 2 kids and having a date night does not happen often) so we went and ate had a few drinks, took a walk on the beach and spoke about how far we’ve came over the last year and a bit. Next thing Tristan was on his knee at the beach – ring in one hand and holding my other hand, as much as I wanted it – I truly did not see that happening. He told me how I had taught him what it was like to love, I showed him the true meaning of love and he doesn’t want to spend his life with anyone else. I obviously said YES to my dream guy that seemed like he came from the movie or a novel. It was one of the most memorable day of our life.

We got married now on the 4th of March 2017 – it was the most beautiful day ever, both the boys were involved on the day and it was literally a dream come true. I never thought that I would be given a second chance in life and that I deserved happiness, I never thought that mine and Blake’s life would turn out like this.

People often ask what it’s like to be married at 23, it feels amazing to know that I have found my life long best friend, my lifelong partner whom I can depend on. It’s an amazing feeling that I got blessed with one of the greatest husband, father and friend anyone could EVER ask for. This is my husband and my best friend. This is the man that taught me how to love myself again and how to love life, he showed me what love is. So I got married young? It just means that I have more time on this earth to grow and learn with my husband I am blessed to have that I got the opportunity in life to find my true love so young.

Wedding day

 Blake sees Tristan as his father and calls him dad, Blake is an amazing older brother to his younger brother. God has a purpose for us all, I gave up on love and stopped believing in love until I met Tristan. You too deserve happiness and to be loved, don’t settle just for any guy.

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– Bianca  Hughes

 

 

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