I was kindly asked by Nollie to do an article on how you can change your life for the better today, so I have done that in no specific order but just off the top of my head. Going into detail about work as one main area I can relate to as well as clients I have had.
I thought I would start off with a bit about me. My name is Jane Leigh Wright.
My highest level of education is Honours in Psychology, which I obtained part-time through UNISA whilst working full-time in the retail industry. I am a certified life Coach registered with COMENSA as well as a supportive Counsellor through Synergetica Council for Councellors in South Africa. I utilize counselling and coaching skills in my practice as I feel emotional and practical components go hand in hand. Enjoy the read and thank you for taking the time to read.
Tips to how you can change your life for the better today
1: Let go of what no longer serves you.
What I am saying here is everything needs to serve some sort of purpose, if that purpose is no longer there, it is time to let it go. Whether it is relationships, friendships or anything in your life that once had a purpose but no longer does, it is time to say good-bye. It’s like spring cleaning but I suggest such things should be done when one is in their most congruent state. Congruent state is pretty much what you feel and think and are in line with each other, this is generally the optimal time to make decisions in your life. One of my favorite quotes is one by T.D. Jakes “No matter how much you water concrete, you can’t grow a garden.” Which I feel is so accurate as wasted energy and time on things that no longer have a purpose or serve you in any way.
2: Change your attitude or change what is making you unhappy.
Some main themes that have come up in my practice such as people hating their jobs or they hate what their partners do or there is some element in their lives that are making them really unhappy. It is actually quite simple, we as humans make things so drawn out and complicated. We forget that we are in charge of our lives and knowing that should be empowering enough but often we forget. To hate your occupation is terrible because after all; we work to live, sometimes we need to look around at our things that was bought with our hard-earned money to remind ourselves why we work. Sometimes it’s good to remember your first week at work where you felt energetic, positive, friendly and alive and actually wanting to be there. Try recall that memory and ask yourself where do you think it changed?
I can relate to this fully, the above did not work for me in the last two years of my past occupation, but what method did help me was my attitude towards my job and realizing nothing lasts forever and that I am in control of where my future is going. I began to appreciate it, to do my job to the best of my ability even though I was so unhappy, I had to work that was nonnegotiable. I then visualized and imagined doing what I love most which is helping people, empowering people, allowing them a space to grow and gain their strength back through supportive counselling and life coaching techniques. I have actively been working towards this goal for thirteen years, I could not practice until I was qualified in the scope I currently am in. It took a very long time, I am not completely where I want to be but I am close. I slowly started my own practice part-time. Every week I would do something towards my practice and thought and brain stormed many ways how it could become a reality.
If you are unhappy about any element in your life you either can change the way you see it, explore what is making you so unhappy. For example, if it is a work situation ask yourself; is it the people you are working with, is the company culture different to what you are used to, many elements and themes can come up once unpacking the problem at hand. You can also start exploring other avenues such as having the correct skills to do what you really love and make that a goal that you work towards to reach.
3: Meditation, relaxation and me time.
Just like eating healthy, exercising and getting adequate sleep we all should try to include some form of mediation or quiet time. I find the best time for me is at the end of day just before bed where I disconnect from all technology and meditate before ending off with yoga. This is where I let go of all the days worries and allow my body to rest and recharge, which I feel helps with my well-being. Life becomes so busy, that we often forget we need to hit the reset button, the human body is amazing but it is not a machine and it needs rest. So, find your reset button and make your ‘Me Time’ something you love to do or that helps you unwind, relax and reflect.
4: Balance is important, make time
Everyone is different but ensuring that all areas of your life are in balance such as work, social, family, gym time. It is hard but I am sure we have all had enough practice to start consciously seeing what areas need more attention. Whatever your values are and makes you the person you are today are the areas that you should focus on to be balanced. I know life is busy but if it is not a value we as humans do not prioritize it, simple as that. That excuse I have been too busy to do… to see… to call…Does not exist, we make time for things that matter to us most. When one area is imbalanced all other areas seem to have a downward effect and often leaves one feeling overwhelmed, drained and out of control.
5: Live don’t just merely exist
The only two things we are truly certain of is the day we are born and that we will eventually die as we only live once, ask yourself ‘am I merely existing or am I actually living?’ Are you doing the things you really want to do? If not what is stopping you? What action plan have you got to achieve these things?
At one coaching training, I attended the facilitator told us or made an example about a man on his death-bed who said “what if I have done it all wrong”, referring here to his entire life. This really shook me to my core and I try every day to think if today was my last day, did I do what I really wanted to do, did I see the people I wanted to see, do these important people in my life know I love and appreciate them, have I been kind to all who crossed my path today and what can I hope to do better tomorrow if I am blessed to still be here.
With love – Jane
Jane is a qualified life Coach who lives in Johannesburg.