There ain’t a thing I wouldn’t do to get over you.

I just came back from the worst date I’ve ever been on. It was awkward, draining and lacked in every department. It got so bad to the point that I just started laughing (hysterically) at the 10 minutes of awkward silence that had passed between us. I thought of our first date and how much fun I had with you and how you would have laughed with me at this situation. You probably would have asked me what I was doing there or why I was even giving this guy the time or day and to be honest it’s because I’m struggling to get over you. I’ve tried everything so this is the last resort. My friends keep telling me I need a rebound or that “the best way to get over someone is to get under another” so here I am on the worst date ever trying to get over you.

When I say I’ve tried everything, I mean everything! I’ve blocked you on all social networks because I’m selfish and couldn’t bear to see you living happily without you but then the thought of not knowing how you are doing (because I want the best for you) got to me so unblocked you (Yes, I’m crazy like that). I googled how to get over you ex and most sites kept telling me to ‘give it time’ so its been about 2 months now and I still miss you so how much. How much more time is this going to take? I’m getting impatient. A friend told me to just hate you and think bad things of you and I tried that and I could only last 3 hours before I started thinking about how amazing you are. Don’t make me name the other things I’ve done but just know that there aint I wouldn’t do to try get over you.

So here I am trying to get over you by getting to know someone new. I’ve had four failed attempts at this ‘getting to know someone new’ thing in the past two weeks. You know I don’t like getting to know new people and how difficult I am to please but I am forcing myself to get to know someone because maybe they will help me get over you. The first guy seemed pretty nice but I know you wouldn’t like him because is materialistic (He speaks about his car like it’s a human) and goes against everything ‘we’ stood for. It ended pretty fast with the next guy because he asked me to wear sexy underwear to our first date (Like wtf?!). I remember how underdressed I was on our first date and how perfect you thought I looked. The next guy asked me on a date to only politely tell me that I was going to pay for the date. I can hear you laughing at this because you would never let me pay for a thing not even the air I was breathing (it was always such a struggle with you). Just when I thought I would never make it to an actual first date with someone new, I did and here I am on the worst date ever. The most ironic thing about this is that I’m suppose to here to try get over you yet all I can think about you is you.

That’s what I hate about the whole thing. I hate that you have a house on my mind that you aren’t paying rent for yet refuse to move out. I hate that the guys after you have such big shoes to fill. I hate the fact that everything around me reminds me of you (Beyonce’s Déjà vu song now makes sense!) and what I hate most is that I miss you so much and cannot say anything about it.

Regardless of all this, I will continue you on my mission to get over you because I hope that one day you will become a distant memory and just somebody that I used to know. I think I can bear about four more horrible dates until I give into Gugu’s blind date offer and if that doesn’t work out Bono knows a good dating site. I told you that there aint a thing I wouldn’t do to try get over you.

P.s I’m giving you one more month then you have to move out!

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